My answer seemed to always be the same: Go to BYU Hawaii and major
in marine biology. I went to different marine biology camps growing up and
volunteered at the aquarium, and because of those, opportunities seemed to
present themselves in this area of study and it seemed that my life was set in
stone. I was adrenalized and enthusiastic because this path seemed illuminated
by divine approval.
On October 6th, 2012, my life turned
upside down. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints lowered the age for sister missionary service from 21 to 19. I found out as I was driving
to Einstein's Brothers to get bagels for my family with my sister. We were
listening to conference on the radio and as I listened to this monumental
occasion, it seemed time stopped and there was a feeling telling me that Heavenly
Father wanted me to go. Although on social media and to my peers I exclaimed my
excitement and surety on this new path, I was absolutely terrified.
That night I prayed to know if I was
correct in my assumed feelings, and felt strongly that I was. The next couple of
weeks I prayed to know if I should in fact apply to BYU in the coming weeks, or
BYU Hawaii still. Through fasting and prayers, I realized that to fulfill this
desire of going on a mission, my best option would be to attend BYU. Sadly, as
most might not guess, this was devastating for me, but I decided God knew what
was best and would guide me the whole way through.
All that I had ever worked for, all that
ever had seem to fit for my future, suddenly dissipated and I was to start
school here and take 18 months of my life to give up a head start on my career,
internships, experiences, and my educational goals. One thing didn't make
sense, why had God lead me all the way down this path, and then suddenly changed His
mind about what he wanted from me?
I wish I could tell you the answers came
clear to me but they didn't. In fact, the answer to this question didn't happen
until this week while in my New Testament Class discussing a story between
Jesus and Peter.
The story occurs in Luke 5: 1-11. The way
my professor described the story (from his interpretation) gave me great
insight into my own story. He talked about how the fish would come out at night
the most, and very likely peter and the other disciples had been fishing all
night long, and had caught nothing, when Jesus entered his ship. He asked him
to cast out and put his net into the water. My teacher described a possible
thought Peter may have been having "Jesus,
you haven't been fishing your whole life! I've been up all night and I just
need some sleep. How about we get some rest and then try this whole cast out
another net thing?" But
as the scriptures go, Peter says he will do it "nonetheless".
Basically, if you imagine yourself in Peter's shoes, He doesn't really want to
keep fishing but chooses to follow Christ. Immediately tons and tons of fish
were caught, and could have possibly been the biggest catch ever made in the
Sea of Galilee. After getting on shore, if you think about it, Peter could have
become a very popular fisher. He could have been given money and prizes and all
sorts of recognition, but what does Christ do? He tells him that he wants him
to leave that all behind and be a fisher of men.
It wasn't until Peter had to sacrifice
something so important to him that Jesus asked him to be a missionary and follow
Him. Peter could have had the same thoughts that I did, why did you give me the biggest
catch, and not let me pursue the course that lead ahead because of it? But in class we discussed that it
could have been a confidence builder, had Peter not been able to catch fish,
how could he feel confident enough to theoretically catch men? Also, Christ
could have been emphasizing that His work is the most important and most
rewarding work on Earth. Can you imagine the blessings Peter was able to
participate in because he walked and talked with Jesus every day?
This suddenly opened my eyes that I had to give up my “fish”
literally (haha) and figuratively to experience the joy that I knew Jesus had
in store for me. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to serve. I can't wait to
get my call next week, and like Peter, have opportunities like this to
sacrifice my wants to bring others what they need.
When we choose to sacrifice something
temporal to follow Christ, we will find that His route will never fail. These
inconveniences will always turn out to be glorious. We will feel Christ's love
and direction more fully every day, and like Peter we will develop a better
relationship with him. His work is the most important work, and we have to
sometimes sacrifice a seemingly fine path to participate in a golden-paved,
heavenly one.
Luke 1:10-11
"...Fear not: from henceforth thou
shalt catch men... and they forsook all, and followed him"
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