My Body is Rejecting Leaving the States

First off,

I leave the USA in 6. days. six. days. siiiixxxxxxx dayyysssss. 

That is nothing, literally. It's so weird thinking back to the age change and how honestly, that feels like just yesterday! AND NOW I'M HERE. I'm going. No mas en los Estados Unidos. ADIOS. It's crazy that time has just flown by.... I hope it goes slower when I am actually on my mission.

Okay now to the point. 

As a lot of 'almost' missionaries can relate to, it seems that right before you leave there is a lot of adversity to going. I feel like i've been really lucky with very minor roadblocks (knocking on wood) but yesterday my body seemed to be rejecting the idea of leaving the states.  

I woke up early to go to the hospital and take pictures of my new baby niece, Olivia. As you can see she is adorable: 

but before doing that, I had a low blood sugar attack. My head started getting really hot and suddenly I blacked out. When I get these attacks, I normally just black out for a couple of seconds here and there, which is what happened. You feel like you need to vomit but your body just won't do it. It honestly feels like every system shuts down. Then I get toast with butter + sugar and every time it seems to get me back to normal really quickly, which is what happened yesterday. 

I felt better while being at the hospital to see my niece, but I kept feeling like I probably shouldn't hold her just in case I really was sick or something. Thankfully I followed that prompting because as soon as I got home, every sick feeling I had, had earlier suddenly came back more ferociously. I felt like I needed food, but if I had any I wouldn't be able to keep it down. It. Was. The. Worst. All day I was going through nausea, headaches, dizziness, fatigue, and some cold symptoms randomly. By the end of the day, I was going through a lot of flu AND cold symptoms. Thankfully my wise mother got me some airborne and I've been feeling a little better today. 

But I woke up with pink eye. So I'm finally getting my weird fluish cold symptoms under control and my eye is straight up red after looking in the mirror. Another small tender mercy was that we had pink eye medicine on hand with Calli's prescription, so we got that in really quick. But no contact in my right eye today which means I'm half blind. 

I'm not telling you all about my sicknesses because I'm angry and upset- in fact it was perfect timing. I went to institute on Tuesday night and we talked about President Uchtdorf's talk, "Grateful in any circumstance" and about how it is important to be grateful in every condition (including sickness). And boy am I grateful for that lesson. I believe it was to prepare me for the days following class- which clearly I needed to remember that! 

I'm also grateful that it's minor, and that we have medication on hand!! It's kind of scary leaving the USA because I feel like this is my safety net- if I'm sick the option to get better is really close and really convenient; whereas, who knows what will be close and convenient in the DR? 

Honestly, times like these I just laugh. Of course I would get pink eye right after feeling better! Of course I would get sick right after a lesson about being grateful! Oh the irony. Heavenly Father does have a sense of humor in the lessons He teaches us, because I needed this one. 

As Uchtdorf said, how much of life do we miss waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

I'm grateful for a body. When I took New Testament earlier this year, my teacher offered a possible explanation for the story of the legion of devils telling Christ to put them into swine (before the devils actually made the swine drown, which is a whole different discussion). My teacher offered this insight:  

The dark spirits wanted a body SO badly they were willing to go into a pig's body, known as one of the filthiest animals at the time. Do we treat our body as such a blessing? Such a privilege? 

So that's what I've been thinking about since yesterday. It's okay that I have to go through these problems because having a body is worth it. 

So maybe my body is crushing under stress of all that I have left to do and prepare- but right now I'm working on being more grateful and making gratitude my disposition rather than my circumstantial mood. Am I even close to being that? Not even. But I've found so much peace as I have been working on it. And I believe there is a reason for every sickness and pain I go through that is beyond my control, I really do. 

6 days people. Bring it on. 

20 Days

Obedience by George MacDonald

I said: "Let me walk in the fields."

    He said: "No, walk in the town."

I said: "There are no flowers there."

    He said: "No flowers, but a crown."

I said: "But the skies are black;

there is nothing but noise and din."

    And He wept as He sent me back---

    "There is more," He said, "there is sin."

I said: "But the air is thick,

and fogs are veiling the sun."

    He answered: "Yet souls are sick,

    And souls in the dark are undone!"

I said: "I shall miss the light,

and friends will miss me, they say."

     He answered: "Choose tonight, 

     If I am to miss you or they."

I pleaded for time to be given.

    He said: "Is it hard to decide?

    It will not seem so hard in heaven

    To have followed the steps of your Guide."

I cast one look at the fields,

then set my face to the town;

    He said, "My child, do you yield?

    Will you leave the flowers for the crown?"

Then into His hand went mine;

And into my heart came He;

And I walk in a light divine,

The path I feared to see.

--------

Today I went to the temple with 2 sisters who will be in the MTC with me!

As I pondered in the temple, I thought of The Fall. The only way Adam and Eve could know joy, was to leave behind their comfort zone or the Garden of Eden- and enter into the unknown while trusting God to lead their way. They had to go through the hard, to feel true joy. 

Now that i'm only 20 days away i'm getting a lot more sentimental, (and emotional), and sometimes I wonder how in the world I will be able to leave behind the comforts of my home and family. I mean, i'm really fortunate that life here is easy. I don't have to go to bed at 10:30 and wake up at 6:30, devoting all my time and even skipping meals sometimes to preach my religion to others, all while trying to learn to speak a language I don't know. Right now I can watch movies, go to chick-fil-a, go shopping, hang out with friends. Right now I don't have to walk everywhere and don't need a constant companion. I can go out in sweats without brushing my hair with no one knowing what family name I need to honor. 

On my mission, I will have a strict schedule with strict rules. I will have a constant companion, and I will constantly bear the name of the person I need to bring honor to in front of others- Jesus Christ. Which means my actions, my appearance, and my willingness to serve matters. I will be going out of my comfort zone 24/7 to give others the gospel of Jesus Christ, while trying to manage whatever spanish I know so they understand. I will face rejection and most likely some sickness- not to mention loads of insects that i'm terrified of. 

In my mind, I am definitely leaving behind a beautiful garden for a lone and dreary world. 

However, as Adam and Eve learned, and what I see my future journey as, just because you live in a lone and dreary world doesn't mean your world needs to be lone and dreary. We can trust in God and trust in His ability to lead and direct us, and be filled with light and love from Him. We can find pure joy in the hardships of life- especially the hardships of life as a disciple of Jesus Christ. I know that missions are hard, but I know that I will come to know real joy by doing the hard things the Lord asks me to do. 

The poem above talks about flowers and crowns. I like to think flowers are simple- and a simple life surely is beautiful. But a crown means glorious. The crown to me is perfect: I don't think we serve the Lord with the intention of receiving a ton of tangible blessings-or rich jewelry. I believe that as we dedicate our lives to follow the Lord, we will recognize our divine nature as children of God or our "crowns"- Heirs to His kingdom - and others' divine nature as well. 

We aren't guaranteed a perfect life if we do the hard things the Lord needs us to do, but we will experience a life that is so much richer and sweeter and WONDERFUL- even in the midst of hard times. 

Here's to the last 20 days of my time in my garden. :) 

My Immensely Pinterest-y 19th Birthday/Farewell

caution: long post.

Before I dive into my birthday/farewell yesterday (which went great!) I will start with a couple of highlights from the days following up.

I went up to SLC for a "sister missionary meet-up". 40 people were supposed to come but last minute the date and time were changed so a ton of the expected guests weren't able to make it. It was a lot of fun! The weather was perfect for the whole thing- very sunny and not too hot. 

 Our missions were spanning the world: New Hampshire, Canada, The DR, Hong Kong, and Norway! 

My favorite part was when two temple square sister missionaries came up and talked with us. They had such a unique light about them that I really think i've only seen missionaries have. They were bubbly and excited for us to go on missions- and all I could think was Can I be one of you yet? Just seeing their glow and hearing their testimony made me SO excited to be a missionary. I am getting really close to my departure date! 

This is a picture from my last night as a coach. These goodbyes were possibly some of the hardest! This year has been my best year yet coaching, and I have grown to 100% love each and every one of these girls. I'll really miss them that's for sure! 

I tried some braided up-do's because let's be honest- i'm going to need to know how to do these in the DR humidity! #1: You can't see this well but it's an inside out braid leading down to a side messy bun. #2: A braided crown. I got the ideas from pinterest- which I can't seem to stay away from lately- and for once my attempts actually weren't terrible. However, they did take me WAY too long to do, so I need to get the hang of it or I won't have time to do it out in the mission. 

This is my mom and I watching Jessi's tryouts for the volleyball freshman league. My sister is AMAZING at volleyball, it's so fun to watch her! Other people kept telling my mom she was good enough to be on the MVHS sophomore team (but she can't be because she's too young) so she will try out for that next year. I'm really grateful for moments like this when I get to cheer on my siblings because i'll really miss that. Jessi made the top team and we are so proud of her! One of the great things about Jessi is that she is never cocky about being a good player, she reaches out to others and helps them but never in a "i'm way better than you" kind of way. I really admire that about her. What a natural born leader!

On Saturday night the Davis's took me to the Latino Festival in Provo! It was so cool! We went to a Bolivian stand because that's were Tanner is on his mission and tried some Saltenas (idk if I spelled that right) which I liked! They were a little too sweet with no spice, but they were pretty good. We then saw a Dominican stand!! So in my picture I am holding Morir Sonando y Empenada- my computer struggles with accent marks haha. Anyway the drink means " to die dreaming " and I can see why- it was amazing! It tasted a lot like Orange Julius. The empenada was SOOO GOOD. I was dying. The dominican people at the stand were super nice and excited for me to go there on my mission. Thank you Davis family for a great time! 

Also on Saturday night, I decided to do a last minute session at the Timp. temple. It was a great session, and it really brought so much peace into my night before the crazy day that lied ahead. My car was jerking all the way there and back, so i'm pretty sure it's on it's last lap of it's race. Good timing though, am I right? 

-------

SUNDAY 

I woke up on Sunday super excited- I was finally 19! Finally the same age as all of my friends, except in about a month when they all turn 20. My family started with presents. They got me a lot of cute cards to give to people on the mission, and a couple of more clothes. It was absolutely perfect. They also got me a cute watch and a Spanish CTR (HLJ) ring. I got all ready for church, while watching mormon messages, and I always cry when I watch those so I cried my eyes out. I was trying to get all my tears out before my talk because no one can understand me if I cry. Fortunately it worked, and I didn't end up crying during my talk. I think it was because I was sobbing during the sacrament meeting hymn- I don't know why but the words just hit me so hard yesterday- so my tears were gone for a while after that. The highlight of that whole meeting was seeing one of my best friends, Leda, in the congregation. She got baptized in San Diego on my 18th birthday so it was her year anniversary of being a member, and she moved to Utah and she could be there for my farewell! I talked about her in my talk so it was really special to have her there. 

After I spoke we had a family luncheon for all of my family members. I was really happy that quite a few members of my family came so I could say goodbye to them in case I don't see them before I leave. It was  a nice couple of hours with the family. I'm also really grateful I separated my family and friend open houses because that would have been so chaotic together! I would suggest that to anyone going on a mission and planning your farewell/open house.

We had 5 hours of break but barely any of that time was wasted. We were saving all the pinteresty decorations for that night with the friends, so we were getting that all ready. The cupcakes, fruits, veggies, candy, water bottles... you'll see by the pictures. It is what happens when you don't have work anymore, most of your friends are in school or on missions, and your mom/sister-in-law love pinterest too. So we decided to have fun and go all out. My sister-in-law Marissa is a ninja at all things pinterest so it was great to hear her ideas.

The open house was so great!!! I just felt like crying the whole time because I was so happy to see all of these people that I loved. It was almost overwhelming having all of these people I cared about in the same house because I just wanted to talk to EVERYONE. So I was all over the place, but it was so awesome. Seriously, if you are one of the people who made it I want you to know it meant SO much to me. It was my greatest birthday present to see all of you. I'm grateful for the good conversations and funny moments I had with so many of you. It was the perfect end to a perfect day. 

So now i'm home for 3 weeks, (my farewell got pushed back because of fast sunday, stake conference, and a temple dedication), so I should be hearing a ton of, "I thought you left" for the rest of my time home. I'm really happy for my 3 weeks still here because it gives me an opportunity to visit a lot of people before checking out of the USA. I am just so excited to go!! 

So here is a plethora of pictures from a great day! 

(cupcake toppings: Called to Serve, Hermana Schmidt, My mission call shrunken down, The Santo Domingo Temple, the DR FLAG, and my mission scripture- 3 Nephi 5:13.)

(cute water bottles I made from the idea my mom and Marissa gave me- 200 in all)

The finished product on the table. Back right- fruit cups, front right-veggies, Middle back-cupcakes, front middle-muddie buddies and no pic but eventually PB bars Rachel and Megan Davis brought over (thank you!!), Front left- blue and red candy (for the blue and red DR flag). It looked amazing thanks to the help of my siblings: Calli, Jessi, Luc, and Danni. My sister in law Marissa and my mom. 

Everything ended up looking great!! I'm so blessed with such amazing people in my family! 

I'm sad I didn't have more pictures with people on my camera or phone- but I love all of you and am so blessed to have all of you in my life. It was a perfect birthday and a wonderful farewell.  

A Fat Mermaid

At MVHS, the art students made pictures that 1st graders from OES drew, come alive. The project was to draw a monster, but my little sister Danni insisted she only wanted to do a mermaid, and fortunately, got her wish. She received 2 mermaids, and was excited with both of them and put them on her dresser at home.

Flash forward to this morning. Danni and I were sitting on my bed talking (we share a room until I leave). Maddi ran in and started playing around with us, when she exclaimed, looking up, "Mermaids!"
Danni then looked at me and said:

"Everyone says the skinny one is better because the other one is fat, but I don't think so at all. I think they both are good. I think the "fat" one's artist got more of the colors I wanted right, but the skinny one does look more similar to my picture. So to me it doesn't matter that one is skinny and one's fat I think they both are great." 

I was in awe that my little (and very skinny) little sister would proudly put two mermaids up and acknowledge her love for both of them, regardless of their weight. One thing I loved is she pointed to the makers more than the art, she said, "one artist got this right... and the other got this right" and only noticed the beauty of both, which in turned helped her to love both.

What if we looked at others this way? What if we looked and said, "Wow God really gave this person this great quality!" And only noticed the good in every person? 

What if we could look at ourselves in this way? What if we stopped staring at the mirror and criticizing a masterpiece that we didn't even make? Had my little sister said to one of the artists, "I know you spent a lot of time on this, but I don't want it because she's so fat compared to the other one," I can imagine the artist feeling hurt. This leads me to think of God and what He must feel when we compare ourselves to others and hate the masterpiece he has made. Those thoughts come from The Adversary who lacks what?... A BODY. So hmmm... I wonder if the Adversary is really telling the truth and our bodies really are just a mistake God made, or if he is lying to us because he envies the fact that we have a body so much. [Spoiler: It's the second option]. 

To love God's masterpieces, is to accept His divine ability to create beautiful things. Because His creations are really just that... pieces made by The Master. 

As C.S. Lewis put it, 

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which,if you say it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilites, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal."

My Thoughts As I'm Getting Closer To My Mission

Hola mis amigos!

I thought I would give some of my thoughts as my departure date is drawing nearer, and maybe some future missionaries might be having some of the same thoughts as I am.

The language barrier is glaring me in the face and making me more and more fearful. When I got my call, I studied spanish seriously alllll day, but as time has gone on and my "to-do" lists have gotten longer, I have found myself unable to keep up the rate that I started studying. I feel like I make progress and talk to someone who knows spanish and the normal response is "yes that's how you say it, but in the DR they probably won't say it like that, and it'll be 100x faster and you won't be able to understand because they cut off the end of words and take out the s's..." To say that response was a helpful tip, is a major overstatement. Comments like these are things I hear on a daily basis, and it's starting to really break me down rather than build me up.

The hardest thing is something I never, ever expected to be hard. When people ask where I am going, the response is almost always the same: "That's great! Have you heard that ... (negative thing).... about the DR?" I thought my mission really just must be the most dangerous or something, but unfortunately mine is not. I asked other almost-missionaries if they were getting the same response, some going state-side and some foreign, and they said they all got the same response. No matter where someone is going, people feel the need to bring up all of the negative aspects to their mission. I really wish more people understood that, yes we as missionaries are aware of the negatives however, we like to focus on the positives.

My last thoughts are that, as I've read many missionary stories, I worry about what kind of missionary I will be. I've made a lot of goals, but am I able to keep them all? Am I able to always represent Christ?

But as I have been stressing more and more, I also feel the power of my Heavenly Father comforting me. I feel peace in the storm and within my worries. I know that Satan is doing everything he can to stop me from going, but he won't succeed unless I let him. I have to keep filling my life with light, and combating the darkness with my Heavenly Father's love. I know this isn't the happiest blog post in the world, and I really am doing well overall and so excited to go, but I am aware that many almost-missionaries are struggling with Satan holding them back. If that is you, maybe these words can strengthen you, or let you know that you are not the only one feeling the pressures of going on a mission. I just want you to know that, if you keep relying on that light, keep doing the little things we are asked to do as well as reading your patriarchal blessing and doing service, that you will be able to beat the worries and the fears. It can all replace with confidence and excitement. I'm getting to that point where, those comments people say and those fears I have, are dwindling. I'm finding ways to trust in God more and more, and I find the best way I can do that is by reading the Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon truly is a powerful book that can change lives and bring an immense amount of peace flowing in the midst of our fears. When you are going on a mission, you are challenged to read the BoM one more time all the way through before entering the MTC. I used to think this was so that we were more familiar with it and be able to teach more efficiently. Although this might be the case, I believe it is also because church leaders are aware that Satan works extra-hard on missionaries and the Book of Mormon is a powerful tool to use to strengthen us in these harder times. There is something about reading that Book that my fears just vanish and my faith strengthens the more I dive in!

So my overpowering thoughts are not the ones that made me more broken-down I mentioned at the beginning of this post. The one thought that is more powerful than any of the others is that, my Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to participate in His work. No negatives are ever strong enough to beat that one major positive. Focus on that, and be optimistic. The future is as bright as your faith. 

Why Does God Give Me What I CAN'T Handle?

I have heard many times in my life phrases such as,
"God gives his hardest battles to His strongest soldiers"
"God won't give you anything you can't handle".

Because of such phrases, which for me offered minimal comfort, I have found many frustrating nights in my life calling out to God and saying "You were only supposed to give me what I could handle!" To me, these phrases are lonely and discouraging. What happens when i'm in the heat of a battle and i'm so exhausted from wounds that I feel I can literally step no further, fight no harder, move no quicker? Am I just supposed to quit the battle because I guess I really am not strong enough? What happens when i'm going through such a hard trial and I can't handle it, and I can't just say "you are right, I am strong" and just move on? I have found moments in my life feeling like God must not have good judgments on me because I am not one of his stronger soldiers, and I can't go through this terrible battle.

It wasn't until one night of the beginning of my freshman year of college that I changed those phrases to something entirely different. I was sitting in the library on campus staring at my books. I recently failed a test I had studied hours for (which I was not used to, to say the least), and had a discouraging pile of homework to do. I was staring at my laptop screen which seemed to absorb despair as it poured from my fingertips into the system. In the midst of this academic frustration, I was also having issues with some family members and also some friends. One of my very best friends confessed some lies he had told me and had basically turned his back on me. I closed my laptop, put my head down, and decided I couldn't do this anymore. I had worn myself 100% out.

This was not the college life I pictured when I saw my acceptance letter, in fact, it was quite the opposite. I thought no matter how hard it would get, I could push through. I was strong enough to man-up to any battle college had in store for me. I was God's strong soldier who was willing to go through the fire for Him because I am strong... right?

Well, at that moment I was anything but strong. I pulled out my Book of Mormon and started to read because it was the only thing I felt I could do to help me not break down in the middle of study rush-hour. I remember finally, at least for a moment, feeling light. I felt stronger, but not strong... does that make sense? I felt strength beyond my own that sustained me but didn't give me all the strength I needed. I needed to start moving, and step by step things got easier and I started tackling the monsters in front of me.

Is that what taking upon us the yoke of Christ is? When I was younger I used to think the yoke of Christ was the breakfast Christ must make (haha). But the yoke is like an oxen's yoke. We both need to pull but Christ doesn't quit, He doesn't turn around, He helps and supports us every single moment. Or, we can try to do it on our own. We can convince ourselves that anything is within our ability to handle. We can do anything, God doesn't give us stuff that we can't handle anyway... right? I don't believe so. I believe God gives us some trials (not all) that we need to rely on Him and the Savior's Atonement to get through. We need to step with Christ as we take His yoke, and he will make the burden light.

Mosiah 24:15: And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

The burdens were made light! They needed their burdens to be made light, so what happened? They were strengthened! They needed a strengthening power that them, themselves, could not offer one another. Every one of those faithful followers felt depleted under immense trials, and they needed someone to strengthen them. They were facing trials they couldn't handle on their own, and they needed God. And their burdens weren't taken away or made easier, but they were made light because the people were made stronger. I believe we apply the atonement by believing that we can be strengthened through God through hard trials. I believe in a God that sometimes gives us things we need His help to get through, and He will. As my Book of Mormon professor, Brother Marsh, put it along the lines of,

"You can decide to do it on your own, and I guess you can. Eventually, at least. The road will be a lot harder and a lot lonelier if you do the extremely hard things believing you can do it by yourself. But, if you ask for God's help and others, you will find the journey to be more enjoyable and more rewarding. Some trials we get, we need God's help. And if we choose not to take it, I guess there is still a chance you can get through it. You'll come out with a lot more battle scars and tears though." 

My family had a scare with my baby sister last week. For a moment, I guess we thought we would lose her. For my sisters and I at girls camp, it really was for a moment because we found out she had almost drowned after she was okay. I guess it wasn't a trial because she was okay, but in that moment before hearing the good I felt like my whole insides crumbled into dust, and I was empty. I was watching "Heaven Is For Real" And the dad says that when he thought his son was going to die, a piece of him broke and stayed broken, even though his son was okay. I teared up because I completely understood. Part of me broke that day, a part of me I don't think will ever be 100% fixed until after this life. In an instant, and thankfully for an instant, I felt my world shatter from losing a loved one. I kept focusing on the "what ifs" and the "alternatives that could have happened" or "guilt because I wasn't there in case it was worse". I'm very grateful she is okay, and I can't imagine what I would feel like if she was actually gone now. But, I believe that, if she had passed away I would have needed God. God doesn't give me trials so that I can do it all alone and try to be the "best possible soldier by never asking for my generals help". No, God is the general that wants us deeply to ask him for help and support. I don't believe He throws His strongest soldiers, based off physical and emotional strength, into the battle. I believe He throws some of His soldiers into the heat of the war because He believes they will ask Him for Help. He knows they will be able to feel His love and see Him in His enabling power to get them to keep moving forward. I like to think God gives the hardest battles to some of his most humble soldiers (and also soldiers who need to be humbled).

When we try to eliminate the need for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in the equation of our trials I believe sure, we can get through them, but it will be a lot more painful. When we simply put out "He won't give us anything WE can't handle" And make the We an "I" we forget the need for The Atonement. Instead I like to think,

"He sometimes gives me what I can't handle, so that WE (The Godhead + Me) can handle it together"

Why Harry Potter References Should Be Used In More Lessons at Church

We live in dark, horrible times, but we don't have to feel dark and horrible. We can live in the light and love of our Heavenly Father, and feel peace with hope for a brighter day. 

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" -Albus Dumbledore. (Harry Potter rocks my world). 

I was reading the news this week and just was totally overwhelmed with feelings of despair and fear. I was honestly wondering how I could handle living on my own for 18 months because it's just getting worse and worse! But I watched Harry Potter and this quote really helped me (haha). Happiness really can be found in the darkest of times, if we remember to turn on the light that living the gospel has to offer. We don't need to fear when we allow God to shed His light into our lives and allow Him to guide and direct us by being obedient to Him.  

Two correlating scriptures can be D&C 59:23 and a New Testament Story:

He who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace (not a perfect life, but peace in the trials) in this world, and eternal life in the world to come. 

In the New Testament there is a passage about the tempest raging while Christ and His disciples are on a boat. While the storm is raging from every side Christ is sleeping, and the disciples ask, "carest thou not that we perish?" And Christ calms the storm and asks why they feared. It reminds me that life won't always be perfect by following Christ, but I will be okay. The ship won't sink but it can rock. I can have peace knowing that I can't and won't sink if I am on the Lord's side. 

Our ship will go up and down in our lives. We will have great  moments, and we will have dreadful ones. We can experience the love of our God in both of those moments. Our lives will never be forever in the same place- they will be either moving up or down, but as Brad Wilcox put it: "Our lives are like a heartbeat- the ups and downs let us know we are alive". 

 Remember that in your times of darkness or loneliness, Jesus Christ will always be there for you. Remember that when you go through failure or rejection, it's an opportunity to feel more deeply what Christ felt and become more like Him, because he faced so much rejection during His mortal ministry. You can find peace if you rely on Him and ask for His help and comfort.